Menopause and low libido: how to enjoy sex during menopause
Written byNatalie Beastall
Reviewed byPatille Joy Madaghjian
Sex feeling different lately? From low libido and vaginal dryness to orgasms and intimacy, here’s why menopause can affect your sex life – and the simple changes that can help you enjoy it again
Summary
1How can menopause affect your sex life?
You might notice you don't feel in the mood as often as you used to or sex can feel uncomfortable or even painful.
2Can you orgasm after menopause?
Yes – it's possible to orgasm after menopause. Changes don't mean your ability to enjoy sex or reach orgasm disappears.
3Making sex feel better during menopause
Things like using a lubricant or vaginal moisturiser, taking your time, trying new positions and communicating can all help.
If sex has started to feel different during menopause, you're not alone. Alongside common menopause symptoms like hot flushes, poor sleep and mood changes, many people also experience vaginal dryness during menopause, changes in arousal and a lower sex drive, which might leave you wondering whether what you’re experiencing is normal.
The good news? While menopause can bring new challenges, it doesn't mean the end of a satisfying sex life. Whether you're navigating low libido, vaginal dryness or simply trying to reconnect with your body, you’ve got this.
How can menopause affect your sex life?
Menopause marks the end of your periods, but it can also come with changes in your sex life.1 When menopause happens, there’s a reduction in oestrogen, which plays a role in keeping the walls of the vagina, thick, lubricated and flexible.2 These changes may cause vaginal atrophy, which can cause dryness, painful sex, urinary symptoms and vaginal bleeding.3
The falling oestrogen levels can also affect your sex drive, comfort during sex and how your body responds to intimacy.1,4 Some of the most common changes include:5-9
- low libido: you might notice you don't feel in the mood as often as you used to. Sometimes the desire is there but your body doesn't respond in the same way
- vaginal dryness: as oestrogen levels fall, the vaginal tissues can become drier and less elastic, which can make sex feel uncomfortable or even painful
- changes in sensation: you may find it takes longer to become aroused or reach orgasm, or that sex simply feels different than it used to
- mood shifts: anxiety, low mood and stress can all affect your interest in sex and make it harder to feel present during intimacy
- poor sleep and fatigue: night sweats and disrupted sleep can leave you feeling exhausted, making sex feel less of a priority
These changes are common but don’t mean your sex life has to stop. Menopause can also affect how you feel about your body. As your body changes, it's natural for confidence or self-esteem to wobble, which can influence how you experience intimacy.10 Remember that your emotional wellbeing is just as important as your physical health. If low mood, anxiety or worries about sex are affecting your quality of life, speaking to your GP, a menopause specialist or a therapist can help.
GLORIAH
Can you orgasm after menopause?
Yes – it's possible to orgasm after menopause.11 While hormonal changes can affect arousal, vaginal comfort and sensitivity, they don't mean your ability to enjoy sex or reach orgasm disappears.4 You might also notice it takes a little longer to become aroused or climax than it did before menopause, so having an orgasm may feel different.
Nicotine and excessive alcohol consumption can decrease vaginal lubrication, which may have an effect on reaching an orgasm.12,13 Lower oestrogen levels can also reduce blood flow to the vaginal tissues and affect natural lubrication, which can make sex feel less comfortable for some people.14,15
How to make sex feel better during menopause
Everyone's experience of menopause is different, but a few simple changes can make sex feel more comfortable, pleasurable and enjoyable.
Use a lubricant or vaginal moisturiser
If vaginal dryness is making sex uncomfortable, a good-quality lubricant can help reduce friction during intimacy. Water-based lubricants may help to reduce uncomfortable feelings in the vagina if you’re experiencing vaginal atrophy.3 Vaginal moisturisers are designed for regular use and can help keep vaginal tissues hydrated over time. If over-the-counter products aren't enough, speak to your GP or a menopause specialist about treatments such as vaginal oestrogen.
Take your time
As arousal can take longer during menopause, don't feel rushed. Spending longer on kissing, touching, oral sex or other forms of foreplay can help increase natural lubrication and help make sex feel more comfortable and enjoyable. Even small changes can help reignite excitement and curiosity.
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Try different positions
If certain positions feel uncomfortable, don't be afraid to experiment. Some positions may simply feel more comfortable than others.16 Positions that allow you to control the depth and pace of penetration, such as being on top or lying side by side, may feel more comfortable if you're experiencing vaginal dryness or sensitivity.
Explore new ways to be intimate
Intimacy doesn't have to mean penetrative sex. Massage, sensual touch, mutual masturbation or using sex toys can all help you reconnect with your body and discover what feels good now. You might find that introducing something new brings back a sense of curiosity and fun.
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Talk about what feels good
Menopause can change what feels pleasurable, so try to be open with your partner about what you're enjoying and what isn't working. Honest conversations can help take the pressure off and make intimacy feel more relaxed.
Don’t push through the pain
Pain during sex isn't something you should just put up with. If sex continues to be painful despite using lubricants, moisturisers or making other changes, it's worth speaking to your GP or a menopause specialist, as treatments such as vaginal oestrogen can support with vaginal dryness and irritation.17
Tips for enjoying intimacy during menopause
There's no one-size-fits-all approach to intimacy during menopause. What works for one person may not work for another, so give yourself permission to discover what feels comfortable and enjoyable for you.
Speak to your GP about treatment options
If symptoms such as vaginal dryness, pain during sex or low libido are affecting your quality of life, your GP or menopause specialist can talk you through the treatment options that may be suitable for you.17,18
Make time to connect
Intimacy isn't just about sex. Cuddling, kissing and planning date nights can all help you stay emotionally connected without the pressure of penetration or orgasm. Some couples might find that planning time together may help rebuild confidence and create opportunities for intimacy, while still leaving room for spontaneous moments.
Talk openly with your partner
Let your partner know what feels comfortable, what you'd like to try and how you're feeling emotionally. If starting the conversation feels awkward, begin with how menopause has been affecting you rather than focusing on sex itself. The aim isn't to find a quick fix but to support each other and explore what works for you both.
Look after your wellbeing
Stress, poor sleep and feeling run down can all affect your interest in sex. Regular movement, whether that's walking, strength training or yoga, can help support your overall wellbeing, while prioritising good sleep habits may improve your energy and mood.19,20 Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation may help you feel calmer and more present.21
Consider extra support
If intimacy is causing worry, distress or affecting your relationship, you don't have to navigate it alone. Speaking to a therapist, psychosexual therapist or qualified sex therapist can help you explore emotional barriers, improve communication and rebuild confidence.
Menopause and sex FAQs
Potentially... There's no single food that can improve your sex life during menopause, but eating a balanced diet can support your overall health and wellbeing, which may play a role. Some foods may also support healthy circulation. Nitrate-rich vegetables such as beetroot and spinach, along with watermelon, contain compounds that can help increase nitric oxide levels in the body.22
Nitric oxide helps blood vessels relax and widen, supporting healthy blood flow, including to the genital area, which may play a role in sexual arousal, but more research is needed.23 While diet alone won't address every menopause-related change, eating a varied diet, staying hydrated and looking after your overall health can all help support your wellbeing during this stage of life.
If it's enjoyable and comfortable for you, sex can be a positive part of your wellbeing during menopause. Sexual activity may help you feel more connected to your partner, reduce stress and support emotional intimacy.24,25
Everyone's experience is different. Some people notice very little change, while others find sex feels different because of vaginal dryness, reduced natural lubrication or changes in arousal and sensitivity. You may also find it takes longer to become aroused or reach orgasm than it did before menopause. These changes are common, but they don't have to stop you enjoying sex.
Yes – pain during sex is a common symptom of menopause, often caused by falling oestrogen levels.26 As oestrogen declines, the vaginal tissues can become thinner, drier and less elastic, which may make penetration feel uncomfortable or painful.1 Using a good-quality lubricant during sex and a vaginal moisturiser regularly can help ease dryness. If pain continues or is affecting your quality of life, speak to your GP or a menopause specialist.
The final say
Menopause can be a time of change, but it can also be an opportunity to rediscover what intimacy means for you. What feels good may evolve and that's okay. Rather than comparing yourself to how things used to be, try approaching this stage with curiosity, self-compassion and an open mind. You deserve to feel comfortable, confident and connected at every stage of life.
Still not feeling quite yourself? Learn about the vagus nerve and how to manage stress or if you’re in the mood for a pamper, check out a menopause skincare routine.
Disclaimer – This article provides informational advice and is not a substitute for medical care. Working with experts for accuracy, we take great care to ensure the information is up-to-date and relevant. However, you should always consult your GP or healthcare professional before using supplements or alternative products, particularly if you have medical conditions or are under supervision.
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