If there’s one thing worse than going on a diet yourself, it’s having to work with one of these seven common dieters, found around water coolers in offices everywhere…
The Chatty Chloe
Everyone knows you’re on a diet; family, friends, co-workers, your boss, the postman and even the guy who calls you up about PPI.
The Chatty Chloe is all-consumed with diet plans, and has a one-track mind. When you finally shut up about dieting it’s usually a sign that you’ve given up on it.
The “I’ll Start Tomorrow” Dieter
You start the day being ON IT. You’ve logged on to MyFitnessPal, you’ve counted your macros and you’re shopping for new workout gear in your lunchbreak.
It’s all going amazingly well until Shirley from accounts brings in doughnuts and tempts you to break your healthy eating. Don’t worry, you’ll start again tomorrow. It’s always tomorrow. Or Monday…
The #FitFam Fan
You don’t diet. Food is fuel and you’d rather look after your body in the gym.
If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, you make sure they know they’re wrong and you’re right.
You like to write a to-do list and make a habit of jotting down your daily goals.
You tend to wear leggings on a daily basis, and you’re all about sharing motivational posts on Instagram.
The watercress soup, 5:2, keto and Sirtfood diet plans, you’ve done them ALL.
If someone wanted to quiz you right now on the latest healthy eating fads, you’d pass with flying colours because you’re a fountain of knowledge on all things diets.
You read all the weekly magazines and you’re fully invested in how the celebrities keep fit.
When you meet someone you like to tell them about that time you quit sugar and how it’s soooo addictive.
You are obsessed with telling your fellow dieters that to lose weight they need to “eat less, move more” as if they’ve never heard it before in their life. Newsflash: They have.
As a Preacher you will tell your dieting story in the hope of inspiring others, but really you’re just annoying as hell.
You idolise Davina McCall and you’d really like to start a YouTube channel one day.
The Angry Dieter
You’re struggling and you don’t care who knows it.
You’re missing your morning coffee and croissant, and you get snappy with anyone and everyone – including the really sweet boy in the postroom.
You’ve started arguments with most of your friends and you’re planning to go home from work and lie down in a dark room, because #Mood.
When you’re not stressing out about your bridesmaids, your mother-in-law, or how much the band are charging, you’re busy obsessing about your weight loss.
Is butter a carb? How many nuts is too many? Are you getting too bulky after your hectic workout schedule?
You can’t stop dreaming about the honeymoon – not because of the romantic canoodling, but because the wedding will be over and you can hit that breakfast buffet.
Until then you’re focused on the moment you walk down that aisle. Now pass us a carrot stick!